The digital lifestyle can have negative consequences and one of which is this: You can sabotage your own divorce case if you aren’t careful about posting on social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter and even the up-and-coming iPhone app, Instagram.

In fact, the AmericanAcademyof Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) recently released a study that showed more than 80 percent of divorce attorneys have used social media posts (also known as “social networking”) as evidence in divorce court cases in the past six years.

Yes, divorce lawyers all over the country are, more and more, sharing Facebook posts, Twitter tweets and Instagram pics and captions in the courtroom. These “snapshots” into the life of your soon-to-be ex spouse have exposed extramarital affairs and outright lies that can affect everything from spousal support (alimony) to the time your allowed to spend with your children.

In Dishon & Block’s new infographic titled, How Family Law Attorneys Use Social Media Evidence in Court Cases, the above statistics plus some real court cases outline this not-so-surprising trend in divorce. Here are a couple of examples from the infographic:

Belly Dancing Out of Alimony

“McGurk claimed that an accident disabled her during the marriage and that she needed $850 a month alimony from her ex as support. Evidence pulled from Facebook and MySpace showed that four years after the accident, she was an avid belly dancer. The judge accepted this as proof and subsequently denied the woman lifetime support.”

Make It Facebook Official

“In the Stephen and Courtney Gallion case, a widely reported case, the husband had seen some things on their shared computer that made him suspect incriminating evidence would be found in the wife’s social media accounts. The judge ordered the divorcing couple to hand over the passwords to their Facebook and online dating accounts to the opposing counsel.”

See? Social media networking can undermine your divorce (or prove your point!). So, what can you do about it today?

What Can I Do About Social Media and My Divorce?

One thing lawyers say is crucial to the divorce process is patience and restraint. Sure, it may be very tempting to gush on Facebook about your new crush, but it can also be used as evidence if you must disprove adultery in your divorce case.

What about tweets, Instagram pics and even “check ins” on your smart phone?  They can pinpoint your movements that can build a case to your very own guilt! And that’s not good in any court action.

Most divorce lawyers caution their clients to be rather anonymous during this time. This isn’t just flippant advice. Remember, you may feel like you are flying (as in partying) after you’ve decided to separate from your spouse, but do you really want to capture all the flying-too-high moments too?

Social media evidence can jeopardize not only your court case, but also affect your child custody rights and future ability to co-parent with your ex spouse. Here are some more tips:

Don’t brag. Think twice about “bragging” to your ex via any social networking post. Party pics can get you in trouble in more ways than just one.

Block your ex. Block your ex spouse from all your social media sites and consider blocking or limiting availability to certain family, friends and colleagues who are sympathetic to your ex spouse.

Change your passwords and protect your digital equipment. It is possible your ex spouse has or had access to your laptop or smart phone and can hijack passwords and even install spyware software. First, take the time to change all your important passwords. If you suspect spyware or are just curious, you can take your laptop or smart phone to a spyware detection specialist.

Stop checking in and geotagging. Don’t let everyone know your whereabouts during this sensitive time in your life. It’s time to chill out on any location services software such as “check ins” on your iPhone or with Instagram’s newfangled “geotagging” capabilities.

It may not be fun, but be wary before, during and after divorce about how your ex spouse, friends and family members (and a judge!) may feel about all of your social networking posts.

For more information on social media and divorce, see Texts, Spyware, Social Media and Divorce.

How Social Media, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Geotagging Can Undermine Your Divorce is a post from: Marivonne Essex | The Red Headed Lawyer

Ex-wife stuck with credit card debt
By Ronald Lipman
Published 10:44 p.m., Friday, February 17, 2012
Original Article

Q: My friend got divorced four years ago. There was an interim order by the court for her ex-husband to service their credit card debt, but during their 15-month separation, he never did. By the time of their divorce, the late fees and interest on the card had made the debt unmanageable. It now stands at $45,000. That debt appears on checks of her financial background and probably is the reason she has only been offered straight commission jobs. Can she sue her ex-husband now for the $45,000 and for her pain and suffering caused by the bad debt? Their divorce decree did not address this.

A: No, she can’t sue her former husband for the $45,000, nor can she sue him for her pain and suffering. Under the law, she cannot sue him to enforce any of the interim orders.

She can only sue him to enforce the divorce decree, and since the decree was silent on the debt issue, there would be no basis for her claim.

The above article appeared in Ronald Lipman’s legal column in the Houston Chronicle. It reminded me of how important credit card and other debts can be in a divorce and how little it is understood, even by many attorneys. As a family law attorney who routinely does divorces, I very often see people with large credit card debts, especially during the recent recession. Here is a recap of what I tell my clients:

1. There are two difference forces at work when it comes to debt in a divorce. One is the judge who grants the divorce; the other is the creditor who is owed. Each of them can do different things.
2. The judge can determine which party has to pay community debt (debt accrued during the marriage, no matter whether it is in the name of the husband or the wife). The judge tries to make a fair division of all the property, the assets as well as the liabilities. Debts are a part of this division. The Texas Family Code, our set of laws for divorces, says that the judge must make a “just and right” division. This means the judge can, if he or she decides, order wife to pay debt that stands in the husband’s name and vice versa.
3. The creditor who is owed money can only look to the person who signed up for the debt in the first place, no matter what the judge decides in #2 above and even if the debt is a “community” debt.
4. The Texas Constitution prohibits a person being imprisoned for debt. If the person ordered to pay a debt in a divorce decree does not pay, the legal remedies are scant, to say the least, and costly for sure.
5. If your spouse is ordered to pay debt standing in your name and does not pay, your credit will be adversely affected and there is nothing you can do about it.

What does this all mean to you if you are getting a divorce? If you owe debt standing in your name, DO NOT assume that because the judge ordered your spouse to pay it that it (1) will be paid or (2) you will have an effective legal recourse if it is not paid. Make a deal that includes having assets liquidated to pay off the community debt or in which you take more of the community assets in return for taking community debt standing in your name. And, most importantly, hire a good family law attorney that will pay attention to this very important part of your divorce.

Dealing with credit card debt after divorce is a post from: Marivonne Essex | The Red Headed Lawyer

Red flags seem obvious, once you know what to look for. You may have good reason to be suspicious if your husband:

1. Maintains complete control of bank account information and online passwords.
2. Is secretive about financial affairs.
3. Owns a P.O. box or private mail drop box, which receives account statements and bills.
4. Has meaningful unreimbursed business account expenses.
5. Deletes one or more personal financial programs, Quicken or Quickbooks.
6. Says the computer containing important financial records has mysteriously “crashed.” Then, he removes the hard drive for a data retrieval attempt, and it’s never to be seen again.
7. Acts pushy when obtaining signatures on important documents, like tax returns and deeds. “I need to get this to our accountant today,” he insists.
8. Proposes an execution of mutual durable power of attorneys for “estate planning” purposes.
9. Enjoys out-of-town business junkets with his befriended, slippery financial advisor.
10. Develops SIDS (Sudden Income Deficit Syndrome). “My business is failing” suddenly crops up.
11. Suffers an income decrease without a corresponding reduction of expenses.
12. Binges on unusual purchases of flashy items, such as a car and jewelry.
13. Reports a dramatic decrease in value of marital and/or business investments.
14. Owns multiple cell phones or numbers over a relatively short period of time.
15. Makes frequent trips to countries with relaxed banking laws.
16. Exhibits childish greed and claims of entitlement.
17. Makes unusual purchases of toys or art that could be sold later.
18. Starts drawing on large amounts of debt.
19. Is involved in drug abuse.
20. Gambles more frequently than usual and is placing money “on account” with casinos.
21. Opens multiple business or personal bank accounts without obvious reasons for having that many.

A husband who hides assets usually has very specific, predictable objectives. In general terms, his goals are to:

1. Hide, understate, or undervalue certain assets,
2. Overstate debts,
3. Report lower than actual revenue, and/or
4. Report higher than actual expenses.

Most tactics are predictable, too. Here are a few of the most predictable strategies Miles has seen, along with the advantages and disadvantages for each:

• Hoarding unrecorded cash. Advantage: Removing cash (currency) lacks a paper trail, and offshore bank accounts are relatively easy (from a legal standpoint) to open. Disadvantage: Laundering over $100,000 in currency can be time consuming and will likely require travel. Depending on the circumstances, this tactic could involve the very serious criminal acts of money laundering, violation of cash transfer reporting requirements, federal income tax fraud and perjury.
• Secreting already recorded cash receipts. Advantage: This can be completed as part of a complex accounting scheme, which may be too complicated or expensive to discover. Disadvantage: Once cash is recorded, its absence or transfer is discoverable.
• Understating revenue. Advantage: The business owner has lots of options from which to choose. Some are simple and easy. Deferring revenue by manipulating the timing of revenue or accounts receivable may not constitute tax fraud. Disadvantage: Depending on the business owner’s sophistication, this can require a fairly predictable co-conspirator. If the co-conspirator is placed under oath, the scheme could result in perjury charges for the husband.

21 Signs That Your Husband May Be Hiding Marital Assets During Your Divorce is a post from: Marivonne Essex | The Red Headed Lawyer

Here’s the Essex Law Firm way of handling fees. First, almost every case has a flat fee so you know up front what your case will cost. The flat fee structure is in stages so that you don’t get charged for a complicated case when yours is simple. Second, you pay a down payment consistent with how complicated your case is. For example, uncontested divorces have a much smaller down payment than a custody case or a complicated property case. Then, we arrange monthly payments for you on the balance. The payments are made through your bank account on the 19th of each month as an electronic funds transfer (similar to a charge for a gym membership). There is a $2.50 transaction fee charge. There is no interest. The payments continue until the balance has been paid in full.

We have been using this system for several years now. Our clients love it because they can fit legal fees into their budget. Also, they love the fact that any legal action required for the case is covered by the flat fee while they are in a particular stage. This means they can call their lawyer, email, have an office conference, speak to the staff, or take other actions on their case without being charged an hourly rate for those things. The client and lawyer can work together on the case as a team without the client feeling like he or she “cannot afford” to do the things necessary to get a successful outcome on the case.

At Essex Law Firm, we are all about teamwork, with the lawyer, client and staff working together to bring about what is best for the client. We are also all about making fair, affordable, good legal services available to everyone, not just the wealthy. The flat fee and payment plan help us achieve that goal. Let us help you with your legal matters in the same way.

Divorce Lawyer Payment Plan is a post from: Marivonne Essex | The Red Headed Lawyer

When divorce becomes inevitable and an individual finds himself or herself in need of a divorce attorney in Spring, TX, there is no better counsel to have than the Red Headed Lawyer, Marivonne Essex. With a reputation of integrity and affordability, she will go to bat in the legal system to help make sure that the rights of her client are guarded and protected every step of the way.

You will enjoy a level of communication that most attorneys do not afford their clients. Phone calls and emails you send to her will receive a response within 24 hours. For Marivonne, communication is a key element in the success of her handling your case as your divorce attorney in Spring, TX.

Unfortunately, some individuals are afraid to make initial contact with a divorce attorney because they are afraid they will not be able to afford the legal services. In reality, the cost of NOT consulting with an attorney can be much, much higher in the long run. You need to speak with someone who can steer you in the right direction so that your assets and your future earnings are not compromised in a divorce action. Marivonne Essex prides herself on providing the highest quality of representation for her clients at an extremely reasonable cost.

When children are involved in a divorce, other dynamics come into play. No parent wants to wake up one day to discover that his or her failure to seek counsel from an attorney has resulted in losing the ability to share in rearing the children. Rather than blindly trusting the other spouse to make all decisions with regard to the children, it is highly recommended that both parents have legal counsel in a divorce. The Red Headed Lawyer will invest the time, energy and professional skill necessary to help ensure that each of her clients receives everything they deserve when walking through one of life’s most difficult periods.

The Red Headed Lawyer Fights for You is a post from: Marivonne Essex | The Red Headed Lawyer

Star Telegram, April 16, 2006

Dealing with divorce and divorce lawyers is not much different than taking a trip without first plotting out the route. If you go to a matrimonial lawyer without specific objectives or goals in mind, and think he or she can fix it for you, you’ll be disappointed. Given a specific set of facts, lawyers are trained to apply the law and advise clients about ways to attain specific goals – or at least some of them.

Here are some basic guidelines:

• Gather as much of your financial and other information as possible before you go to see your lawyer. This includes tax returns and schedules, financial statements, budget documents and the like from at least the last five years.
• Make sure your fee arrangement is in writing, that you understand it before you sign, and that everyone understands how you will pay your bill. Generally, lawyers are not allowed to take a percentage of what is recovered for you in a divorce case, so expect to pay by the hour.
• Since you won’t always need to talk to your lawyer wnen you have questions, meet and get to know the paralegal or secretary so you can give and get information billed at lower rates.
• Write out your questions, then make an appointment with the lawyer and take notes about what you’re told.
• If there are billing questions, talk to the billing clerk or the secretary who handles this aspect of the business. The lawyer should be the last resort.
• Photocopies made at the lawyer’s office may cost you 25 or more cents per page, sometimes plus the time of the person making the copies. So for numerous copies, consider making your own at copy shops to save money.
• If you don’t understand something, ask. And if you have a problem with the way your lawyer is handling your case, also ask. Don’t allow the issue to fester.
• Your lawyer should keep you reasonably informed about the status of your case by sending you copies of what goes out of the office. Then you’ll be less likely to make emergency calls. Remember: Spur-of-the-moment calls just to find out what’s going on can get expensive.
• Don’t second-guess your lawyer based on the advice of friends and family. But if you feel strongly about a point, seek a second opinion. Let your lawyer know you feel this way.
• Remember that your lawyer works for you. After you have been fully informed and have reviewed your options, you and your lawyer should decide upon a course of action suitable to your situation.
• Don’t be surprised if your case takes time to get resolved. Although everyone is in a hurry to complete his/her case, you will have no control over scheduling issues that can keep your case in limbo for a long time.
• If your lawyer promises or guarantees you a result, get another lawyer.

– Jan Collins, a writer and editor, and Jan Warner, matrimonial tax and elder-law attorney.

Time is Money is a post from: Marivonne Essex | The Red Headed Lawyer

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If Illinois decides to move forward, they will be joining the ranks with the other thirty-eight states who use the Income Shares model. As we see more states moving in that direction, it may be a matter of time before Texas does the same.

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Illinois may alter child support formula is a post from: Marivonne Essex | The Red Headed Lawyer