New Year, New You – How to Move on After a Divorce
We often look at the New Year as a fresh start, a time to assess our current lives and set goals for the next year. The same is true after a divorce, you have a fresh start to begin a new life without your ex.
Moving on can be difficult, time consuming and a little scary. If the majority of your life was spent as one half of a relationship with your ex, then it might be hard to find your true, authentic self. I’ve outlined some important steps along the way in order to move on after your divorce.
Give Yourself Some Time
Grieving does not have a time frame and you need to take the time to reflect on your past in order to move on to a brighter future. Giving yourself the appropriate time to sort through your feelings is essential to your well-being in the future.
It might be difficult when you notice your ex has moved on fairly quickly, yet you still haven’t been able to start in the right direction. Don’t let that deflect from your situation. You need the time to heal, so make time for that process.
You will never be able to move forward in your life without accepting your past relationship. No matter how long you were separated from your spouse prior to signing your divorce papers, acceptance is difficult, but necessary.
There’s a finality that happens you when you sign those final documents and this can be an emotional time during the divorce process. Accepting the past as well as your future will help you move on to a happier life.
Relationships of any kind create memories. Songs, restaurants and places all bring back memories of the past. This is hard to overcome, as we can’t extinguish our memories, however, we can certainly begin to make new ones.
If a certain restaurant continuously reminds you of your ex, then choose a different place to eat. Make an effort to build new memories with new friends and family in order to move on with your life.
Think of Children
During a divorce, children are impacted far more than some imagine. Children watch how each parent reacts after the divorce is final. Are you emotional, angry or bitter about your ex in front of your children?
Remember that they are also trying to find a way to move on with their own individual lives after the divorce. Be an example of strength and courage for your children.
Surround yourself with friends and family who can build you up after a divorce. You will need this support system like you’ve never needed them before. Lean on your friends and family during this difficult time in your life.
In the end, finding your true, authentic self is on the horizon after your divorce. Remember that it takes time to heal in order to move on.