Author: redheadedlaw

Choosing The Right Lawyer

Written by redheadedlaw on June 12, 2013. Posted in Attorney, Divorce, Law, Lawyer.

When involved in a serious legal dispute most people know the first thing they should do is contact a lawyer. However, many people struggle with choosing the right one. Choosing the right lawyer is often times the most important factor in determining the outcome of legal disputes, so needless to say, a good amount of time and research should be invested in finding the best lawyer for you.

The first step in finding a good lawyer is to determine the type of lawyer you need. In most states, a licensed attorney may practice in any field of law, but most concentrate on very specific areas. Most states also have a process of specialization for attorneys. In the past, most lawyers were general practitioners, meaning that they handled cases in a wide variety of areas. Over time, the number of lawyers grew and our society spread out, and it became common for lawyers to concentrate their efforts. There are almost as many different practice areas as there are lawyers. For example, a lawyer who practices admiralty law might not be the best attorney to assist a person needing a divorce.

The next step you should take is to utilize referral sources. One of the best resources to find a lawyer that does the kind of law you need is through other lawyers. Everyone should know at least one lawyer they could call and ask for a referral. Even if the lawyer you know practices criminal law and you need someone to prepare a will, the criminal lawyer will be able to give you some referrals in the practice area you need.

You can also look online to research lawyers in the area you need. The Internet is an extremely beneficial source of locating a lawyer. Many websites maintain directories of lawyers nationwide. Most law firms these days maintain websites and usually you can find those through any search engine. Often lawyers are active in professional or community organizations which may be featured on a website.

Next, you should meet in person with a couple of lawyers. The initial interview with an attorney that you are considering hiring is extremely important. Take with you to the interview all of the documents and other information that relates to your problem. Don’t be afraid to ask your lawyer about his or her credentials, as well as how many cases he or she has handled that are similar to yours.

The last thing you should do is to establish reasonable expectations. Many people have never dealt with a lawyer before, so they don’t know what to expect. You should expect frank, honest advice. Your lawyer should point out the strong and weak points of your case and give you a realistic expectation of the potential outcomes. She should keep you informed and send you copies of documents pertaining to your case. If a lawyer gives you a guaranteed result, turn and run. Lawyers are prohibited from guaranteeing any particular outcome, so be very leery if this happens. Don’t expect your lawyer to act as a psychologist, financial advisor, tax planner, or to give any other advice outside of her expertise. If you need advice in other areas, consult a professional in that area.

Why divorce rates have increased over the years

Written by redheadedlaw on June 7, 2013. Posted in Attorney, Divorce, Law, Lawyer, Marriage.

Original Article for attorneys.com

“Half of all marriages end in divorce” has been a widely accepted idea for many years. Statistically speaking how accurate is that idea? Well, as it turns out, it’s right on the money. Over the last 40 years, roughly 50% of the marriages in the U.S. have ended in divorce. However, the percentage of marriages ending in divorce hasn’t always been so high.

“Before 1970, divorce was relatively uncommon and difficult to get. Fault was usually required. One of the spouses must have committed a crime or sin that justified the divorce. There needed to be adultery, abandonment, cruelty, intoxication or some other reason that made it necessary to end the marriage.”

So what changed? Simply put, the law.

“No-fault divorce became an option in some states in the 1950s. Couples no longer needed to prove that one person was at fault. They could simply say that the marriage had broken down. By 1970, almost all states had laws allowing no-fault divorces. A long separation before the divorce used to be mandatory. Many states also passed laws that greatly decreased the separation time, making divorce easier and faster. These laws had a great effect on the divorce rate. From 1940 to 1965, the divorce rate remained near 10 divorces for every 1,000 married women. By 1979, the rate had doubled.”

The changes in the laws regarding divorce dramatically shortened the time and effort an unhappy spouse needed to put forth in order to get a divorce. This had a monumental impact on divorce rates. With laws that are still being revamped, and the ongoing changes in sociological views on divorce, many believe that divorce rates will continue to rise.

Rebuilding Your Social Life After Divorce

Rebuilding Your Social Life After a Divorce

Written by redheadedlaw on May 29, 2013. Posted in Divorce, Marriage, Social Life.

Divorce is the end of a relationship but it is not the end of the world. After a divorce, it is important to reach out and reintegrate yourself into the social world so that you improve your self-esteem and connect with people whose support and friendship will help to restore your sense of wholeness again.

Divorce is often a time in life when you reassess your life and the things that you have done. It is a time to start new hobbies, sports, activities, volunteering, and maybe even a new job. Think about the things that you like doing and would like to do. When doing something that you really enjoy, you will meet others of a similar mind and some of these people will become your friends.

You could also join a divorce support group. You will be pleasantly surprised to see how some of your experiences relate to those of other people. You can develop a sense of solidarity by listening to others express their emotions and experiences. Being surrounded by people who share your experiences will help you shake off the feeling of being alone. Discussing these issues in a pressure-free environment can help you to rebuild your social life through a sense of shared strength, and an increased sense of self-worth.

Avoid the temptation to feel sorry for yourself. What you have gone through is emotionally stressful, and it is natural and healthy to grieve. While grieving is important to go through, it can’t last forever. Sitting at home feeling down all the time will not improve your life and won’t result in a rebuilt social life. It is important to recognize your own self-worth no matter what you have gone through. Be confident, rebuild your life in small steps, and understand that the most effective rebuilding occurs when you reach out to others.

How to Make Divorce Easier On Your Children

Written by redheadedlaw on May 22, 2013. Posted in Attorney, Child Custody, Divorce, Lawyer, Marriage.

Sometimes in the aftermath of a divorce, spouses can get so caught up in their own quarrel that they don’t realize what chaotic situation they are putting their children in. After all, hearing both parents constantly degrade one another is sure to impact the child’s views on both parents. For children, they can sometimes get the feeling that they have just went through their own divorce; they feel like they are slowly losing one of their parents.

You have built a family centered on a consistent two-parent system, and changing something that your children have grown used to will be undoubtedly stressful on them. While some stress may be unavoidable, a great deal of it can be avoided. There are things you can do or refrain from doing, to limit the amount of stress and negative effects your children have to endure.

You should avoid confiding in your children about adult concerns and disagreements with your spouse. If you have a dispute with your ex-spouse, don’t expose your children to your conflicts and frustration. Doing so could lead to your child having negative thoughts about their other parent, and could make them feel like they have to pick sides. You should also avoid interrogating your child about the other parent or what goes on at the other parent’s house. It’s normal to ask general questions about your child’s time there, but you shouldn’t pry. Encourage your children to call the other parent when they have news or just want to talk. Keep the other parent informed about school events and other activities. Do as much as you can to show your children that their other parent will be a major part of their life moving forward.

Don’t introduce major changes into your child’s life if you can help it. Try to keep to your usual family routines and community ties. Consistency and structure makes people in general comfortable, this is especially true with children. If you can keep their life as close to status quo as possible, they won’t feel like their world is being flipped upside down. Continue to parent as you always have. You may feel guilty that your children have to cope with divorce, but you should resist the urge to be more lenient on them. They’ll feel more secure if you’re firm and consistent.

If you and your ex struggle to interact without hostility, it’s a good idea to consult a therapist. A family therapist or professional mediator can help you develop a more friendly communication style. Since you have years of co-parenting ahead of you, learning to get along with your ex may be the greatest gift you can give your child. If your child sees that his or her parents are able to interact in a cordial way, it will allow him to feel like everything is okay. It’s also a good idea to get help for a child that is having trouble coping with divorce. A young child may show regressive behavior like excessive clinginess or throwing temper tantrums, while an older child may become angry, withdrawn, or depressed. A therapist can provide a safe place for your child to express his or her feelings, which will go a long way in terms of coping.

Financial Security During a Separation

Written by redheadedlaw on May 15, 2013. Posted in Attorney, Divorce, Houston, Lawyer, Marriage.

If you have separated from your spouse and are considering a divorce, you are more than likely in the middle of an emotional storm. You may be unsure whether or not you really want a divorce. During a time like this, it is important that you take the necessary steps in order to protect yourself financially just in case your separation continues longer than expected or ends in a divorce.

In many marriages across the country, spouses have joint bank accounts. When separated, the first step you could take to ensure financial security is to open up an account that only you have access to. This will prevent your spouse from blindsiding you by removing the money from your joint account and cancelling credit cards that you were counting on being able to use to support yourself during the separation. It’s a good idea to take initiative and open up a new account, transfer money into it, and apply for credit cards well before you think it is necessary. This is important because if a time comes when you need backup funds, you’ll be prepared.

Unfortunately, many people are caught off guard financially when they discover that their spouse has liquidated, moved or cancelled their access to money or credit without prior notice. By planning ahead, you will have the financial means to pay for legal advice, and to support yourself while you wait on the terms of your separation to be sorted out. Whether your separation ends in reconciliation or divorce, you will be financially secure while you wait for things to get figured out.

Another step to take in the direction of financial responsibility is to make copies of all financial related paperwork, including several years of tax returns. You should also include paycheck stubs, bank and credit card statements, investment and retirement records, all loans and titles for cars and homes, and any records related to debts. You should keep the copies of these important financial documents in a secure place away from the home you share with your spouse so that he or she does not have access to them. It may also be beneficial to get a copy of your credit report to make sure there are no surprise debts. It’s wise to have a detailed list of personal property along with estimated values and photos or videos of these items.

Consulting with a divorce attorney is another step that should be taken in an attempt to prepare for all possible outcomes. It is important to remember that consulting with a divorce attorney does not mean you have to file for divorce, and it is common to put off going to see a divorce attorney when you’re still not sure you want a divorce. However, it’s a smart move to meet with one before you find yourself in need of hiring one. By meeting with a divorce attorney ahead of time, you’ll have a clearer understanding of the next step to take if you do ultimately decide to get a divorce. By doing this, you are not conceding that your separation will eventually result in a divorce; you are simply preparing for all possible outcomes.

The Divorce Process

Written by redheadedlaw on May 8, 2013. Posted in Attorney, Divorce, Lawyer. No Comments on The Divorce Process

After making the difficult decision to get a divorce, the next question that typically comes to mind is, “how do I actually file for divorce?” Getting divorced usually involves the Final Settlement Agreement and the Divorce Decree. Usually, couples will complete the settlement agreement and then attach it to their application for a divorce decree. It is important to understand the purpose of each of these.

The final settlement agreement should include all the decisions that have been made in regards to property, child and spousal support. In order to file for a divorce, an application for a divorce decree needs to be filed. This application, which includes your settlement agreement, is turned in to the courts. If all the paper work is in order, you will be mailed a document similar to a marriage certificate. This document will be the divorce decree, and it means you are officially divorced.

This process sounds straightforward, and for the most part it is. However, things aren’t always black and white. While most cases are simple, emotions can get in the way of that simplicity. It is important to remain focused on the decisions that need to be made with as little emotion as possible. Most couples will need help with regards to property, child and spousal support (spousal is often the one that causes the most conflict), and there are different ways to resolve these issues.

Both parties can hire independent divorce lawyers and go down the traditional route, including applications, demand notices, affidavits, discoveries, and court appearances. Another option is to use a mediator. The challenge here is finding a mediator that has knowledge of both the laws and financial issues. It is important to know that no mediator, whether they have a background in law or not, can advise you on the law or your rights. For that, you need to speak with a divorce lawyer who works only for you to get what is called “independent legal advice”. Whether you receive this legal advice throughout the mediation process or towards the end does not really matter. A divorce lawyer who is representing you alone will give you peace of mind with regards to your settlement decisions and also ensure that the decisions that you have made are what are best for your long-term future.

Best Interest of the Child

Written by redheadedlaw on May 3, 2013. Posted in Child Custody, Divorce. No Comments on Best Interest of the Child

No matter how much you and the other parent try to resolve disputes in a mature fashion, it is a good possibility that the two of you aren’t going to completely agree on everything. It is imperative that these disagreements are handled in a productive fashion. Ideally, these matters can be resolved without the direct involvement of the courts. However, if forced to become involved, judges make decisions based on the best interests of the child. Generally, the best interests of the child include items like the physical and emotional safety of the child, as well as the child’s stability, security, and overall well-being. Courts generally determine that it’s in a child’s best interest to have a consistent, supportive relationship with each parent. This usually means that, if possible, both parents will have relatively equivalent parenting time and will share the decision-making responsibilities with the child. This will theoretically place the parents on equal footing. The fact that you may disagree with the parenting style of the other parent does not mean that you can force them to adapt to your preferences. It is important to recognize that each parent will generally have equal legal parenting rights. Although this sounds reasonable, problems, disagreements, and questions often arise. Who gets to determine what, and under what circumstances? What does “equal” decision-making actually mean? While court orders or parenting plans attempt to address all possible problems, it is impossible to anticipate every possible scenario that might arise. So how do these disputes get resolved? Hopefully, the two parents maintain a relationship that is functional enough to allow them to maturely discuss these issues and resolve them. Most court orders require that the parents attend mediation prior to either parent filing an action concerning a parenting time or decision-making dispute with the court. Afterwards, the parents can file an action with the court to address these matters. However, keep in mind that filing an action may lead to an outcome that isn’t ideal for one or both of the parents. Remember, parents working together tend to make the best decisions for their children.

When Divorce Is The Only Option

Written by redheadedlaw on April 24, 2013. Posted in Divorce. No Comments on When Divorce Is The Only Option

Sometimes relationships cannot be salvaged. There are problems that cannot be resolved with therapy and an effort at better communication. Some people are incompatible at their core. Some relationships are violent and contaminated by drugs or alcohol, and some relationships have such a serious lack of trust that they cannot be restored. In these situations, divorce is often times the best option. Although divorce is difficult for children in any situation, it is worse to stay in a marriage that is destructive to your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. Deciding to get a divorce is one of the most difficult decisions a person can make. If you have to make a difficult choice you should not beat yourself up over it. You are not a failure or a bad parent for choosing to end a destructive marriage. If you make the decision with thoughtfulness and an eye toward the larger implications, you should be considered brave. It is one of the most difficult situations you will ever face. It may seem as though your world is coming to an end, but you can survive and create a new and better life. The most important thing you need is faith in yourself. Divorce is an internal emotional battle as well as a conflict between two people. Some married partners manage to make the break amicably. When it is done this way you can present it to your children in a united way and there will be less stress in the way you work out the details of your ultimate separation. However, in reality, most divorces aren’t so friendly. Emotions will flare and blame and accusation will become the order of the day. Once the decision to separate has been made, human nature requires some kind of emotional distancing. This is why former lovers often become the bitterest of enemies. When you decide to end a marriage you may begin to second guess yourself. You may need some psychological help because divorce is one of the most stressful situations you will ever experience. You have to get used to the reality that someone you loved is no longer even a friend. Most importantly, you should take solace in the fact that you are doing it for the right reasons.

How Divorce Affects Taxes

Written by redheadedlaw on April 17, 2013. Posted in Attorney, Divorce, IRS, Taxes. No Comments on How Divorce Affects Taxes

Taxes have a major impact on nearly every aspect of life, including divorce. However, some couples become so angry at one another, they lose sight of a common enemy, the International Revenue Service. For those who are considering, or are already in the process of getting a divorce, it is important to know what your tax filing status is determined by as it pertains to marriage and divorce. If your divorce was final anytime before December 31st, you must file as single or head of household for that year. If your divorce proceedings and paperwork aren’t complete by December 31st, then as far as the IRS is concerned, you are still married. In this case, you and your spouse can file your tax returns as married filing jointly. Under this filing status, you report all of your income together. This allows you to claim all the deductions, exemptions, or credits to which either or both of you are entitled. When deciding whether to file jointly, consider not only the resulting tax liability, but also the ramifications of being jointly liable for the taxes, penalties, and interest of your spouse. Because your divorce is still pending, you must consider the overall tax implications. Hiring a good family law attorney can be very beneficial with this process. With the use of a diligent divorce attorney and tax accountant you may be able to minimize your total tax liability and avoid being blindsided by tax penalties. Ignoring the tax consequences of a divorce could turn a seemingly fair settlement into one that is financially disastrous. The settlement agreement should be worded and calculated correctly, with the ultimate goal being to reduce the taxes paid by both spouses, leaving them both financially secure. With the right divorce attorney, this can all be accomplished. A good family law attorney will put the needs of the client first. He or she will take a step back and look at the total picture, and will understand that fighting blindly for the client isn’t what’s always what’s best for the client in the long run. A good family law attorney will understand that clients can sometimes let their emotions cloud their judgment, so they will help them make the best decisions for their client’s long term future. Choose the family law attorneys with the qualities you can trust. Lawyers play big roles in our lives, and the lawyer you choose to handle your divorce will obviously affect the course of your life as well as the lives of your family members. Taxes are inherently complicated, and can become outright confusing and stressful when marital status is changing. The right lawyer, who is well versed and able to guide you or refer you to tax experts as needed, can help the transition from being married to being divorced go as smoothly as possible.

Let’s Hire a Professional Divorce Attorney

Written by redheadedlaw on March 29, 2013. Posted in Attorney, Divorce, Harris County, Houston. No Comments on Let’s Hire a Professional Divorce Attorney

Recently, one of my colleague’s friends saw first-hand what it was like to try and get a divorce, without representation. She said at the courthouse there were many people who didn’t have representation, and almost all of their court dates were getting reset. They were getting reset because something wasn’t right in their paperwork, or in their divorce proceedings. One of the ladies there said her court date had been reset three times already. Luckily, my colleague’s friend had representation, and it was smooth sailing for her. This is first-hand witness of how and why it is important to hire a Spring TX divorce lawyer, because unless you have all the time in the world to the learn the system, drive downtown multiple times, and drag out the process, you may end up spending more time and money in stress than it’s worth, when you could of simply hired a professional divorce attorney.