Author: redheadedlaw

Divorce Lawyers in The Woodlands TX

Written by redheadedlaw on October 22, 2012. Posted in Attorney, Divorce, Lawyer.

There are many divorce lawyers in The Woodlands, TX, but how do you know which one to choose? Here are some things to consider:

Credentials

Don’t be afraid to ask the divorce lawyer about their credentials and background history. You want to make sure you are not trusting yourself and your family to someone who is inexperienced and naive about the way things work. Ask where they went to college, how long have they been in practice, and how long have they have been in practice in the state of Texas. Be sure to ask for a list of references, and they should be more than happy to provide it.

Stays Current With The Times

The laws in the state of Texas change constantly, and you need to know how and why they affect you. If you use someone who’s inexperienced, you may fall into a trap of not receiving the right benefits or you may be find yourself later in a place you regret. Having a family lawyer who knows the playing field, backwards and forwards, can really make a difference.

Makes No Frivolous Promises

No divorce lawyer should make you frivolous promises, but all should be candid with you, giving you a reasonable expectation of outcomes. If the divorce lawyer knows something is beyond reach or out of the question, then they should tell you that up front. You want your attorney to be truthful, reliable, and honest, even if that means telling you no.

Is A Redhead

Redheads are known for being stubborn and tenacious, so why not have one on your side?

Financial Help with Divorce

Written by redheadedlaw on September 29, 2012. Posted in Debt, Divorce, Finances. No Comments on Financial Help with Divorce

Original Article by Hadley Malcolm for USA Today

Amber Rodgers provides financial help with divorce, and can help people anticipate what their financial obligations might be after a divorce. For some, it can be a shock to transition from one lifestyle, to the next.

When she was married, Rodgers had never followed a budget or paid bills online or taken care of her taxes — her husband was in charge of the finances.

Once they were no longer together, Rodgers says she struggled to manage all of her expenses and blew a lot of money on feel-good spending.

“When you go from a dual income into a single income, it’s traumatizing,” the 35-year-old says. “I literally had my electricity turned off because I just couldn’t pay my bills. I had to borrow money from friends.”

Don’t wait until it’s too late to plan financially. If you think your marriage is headed towards a divorce, start getting prepared by reviewing bank accounts, credit cards, insurance, and other assets and liabilities.

“Look at the paperwork that’s probably in your house,” she says. “Look at your tax returns. Look at your monthly bills.” Understanding what you’re working with will better help you prepare for how life will change after the divorce, as well as what you need to do to put yourself in the best financial circumstances possible, she says.

Start setting aside emergency cash, too — Rodgers, who recommends having about $2,000 saved, says she stashed hers in a tampon box and used it to pay initial attorney fees.

And make it a priority to seek professional financial help. It’s most ideal to meet with a financial adviser before or at least during the divorce process rather than after the divorce is finalized, DeGroat says.

Marivonne Essex can refer you to some local, professional, financial advisors in Spring, The Woodlands, Conroe, and the greater Houston area. If you would like to make an appointment with Marivonne Essex to discuss you legal and financial options, please fill out our contact form, or call 281-350-4104 .

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How to Tell Children about Divorce

Written by redheadedlaw on September 21, 2012. Posted in Divorce. No Comments on How to Tell Children about Divorce

Original Article by Dr. Joan B. Kelly for CBC Documentaries

Dr. Joan B. Kelly discusses how to tell children about divorce, and how to display the right attitude towards telling them. Children are very impressionable, and need to know that they are loved, and both parents will always be there for them.

“It is very important for parents to talk with their children about the separation, preferably before you physically separate or very soon thereafter. Surprisingly few parents provide an explanation of what is happening and give their children an opportunity to ask questions. Parents frequently dread this conversation because of worries about how the children will react and whether you and your partner can control your own emotions. Parents often feel guilty about hurting the children’s adjustment, and may have fears that an older child or adolescent may blame or reject them. But despite your anxiety, all children need to know what’s happening, and how the separation will affect their lives.”

Dr. Joan B. Kelly also gives some very important tips to help you plan for your discussion with your children.

“Think about the tone of your conversation. Despite how you each feel, can you both agree to contain your anger, accusations and harsh words in front of your children? Your sadness and tears are OK.

“Telling children about separation should NEVER be used as an opportunity to damage or destroy your children’s relationship with the other parent, no matter how angry you or your partner is. This can have tragic outcomes for children.

“Basic reassurance about continued love and caretaking after separation is important. Inappropriate details of why the divorce is happening are not.

“A great deal of divorce research tells us that the vast majority of children love each of their parents, want them involved in their lives after separation and divorce, and want opportunities to be with each of you after separation.”

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Property Division in Texas Divorce

Written by redheadedlaw on September 14, 2012. Posted in Divorce, Property Division, Texas. No Comments on Property Division in Texas Divorce

by Marivonne Essex

If you’re contemplating a divorce in Texas, the fact that Texas is a community property state will be very important to you if either you or your husband has assets, such as real property, savings accounts, automobiles, pension plans, 401(k)’s, or anything else of value. The first misconception to clear up is the issue of title. The name on the title to the asset has no bearing on whether it is an asset which will be considered as community property. If the item of value was acquired during the marriage, regardless of the name on the title, it is presumed to be community property. This means that, regardless of the name on the title, if the parties cannot agree on how to divide it, the judge must presume that it is an asset belonging to both parties and the judge makes the decisions about who owns it after the divorce. The caveat is that the presumption can be rebutted and the judge can make a different decision under the right circumstances. How can the presumption be rebutted? If the property was acquired during the marriage but was a gift or was inherited, and the party claiming it as such can prove how it was acquired, the property gets the label “separate property.” A party cannot be deprived of assets considered “separate property” under the Texas Constitution, so a party who has “separate property” in a divorce gets to keep that property and the judge cannot divide it with the other spouse. The judge divides only community property (and debt, which is an entirely different issue for another date).

How does the judge in a divorce divide community property? The Texas Family Code, which is the primary set of laws which divorce courts follow, says that the property division must be “just and right,” an altogether subjective phrase if I have ever heard one. The fact is, the judge listens to all of the evidence and makes a decision on how to award the property. He or she can take into consideration many other factors, such as whether one spouse has more skills and/or earning capacity than the other; whether one spouse has been out of the job market for a significant amount of time; whether one spouse has a significant amount of separate property; whether one has committed an egregious act such as blatant adultery, etc. The judge has the right to award all the items of value to one spouse and not the other, and any kind of division in between. In most cases, however, the judges in Harris and Montgomery County, Texas, where I practice, tend to divide the community property 50-50. In cases of vast differences in earning abilities or egregious acts, one spouse may get 5% or so more than the other, but it doesn’t vary much. In too many cases, there is NO community property to award and one spouse may be left to fend for herself or himself. That seems to be the hardest concept for people to understand. It seems very unfair, but if there is nothing to divide and the breadwinner is a low or medium wage earner, one spouse may be left with nothing, dependent on relatives or welfare.

This is the day and age of internet divorces and, as a divorce lawyer for 27 years, the scariest thing about people doing their own divorces is that they don’t usually have the legal knowledge, or the information about what is valuable in the community, to make an informed decision. Once the divorce decree is signed by the judge, changing the division of property in Texas is almost impossible. There is a tendency for people doing their own divorces to say, “I don’t care about his pension or her 401(k). I just want to get a divorce.” But what if you knew that the 401k is worth $50,000 or that pension is worth a lump sum of $250,000? Would the decision be the same? A lawyer will discuss all this with you so that when you make a decision, it is an informed one, just as if you were making a significant medical decision. Don’t be penny wise and pound foolish. Sometimes it just pays to pay – for a good lawyer.

Best Divorce Lawyer in Houston

Written by redheadedlaw on September 7, 2012. Posted in Divorce, Houston, Lawyer.

When a marriage relationship becomes a constant battleground that can not be quelled, unfortunately, it may end in divorce. The issues that come into play with the dissolution of a marriage partnership are varied and numerous. Depending on the individual circumstances, both partners can find themselves facing decisions about real estate, children, finances and other assets. At the time these decisions need to be made, frequently the two parties find that their emotions are running high, and anger may be surfacing.

Individuals who are facing a divorce in the state of Texas will be dealing with a number of issues for which they may or may not be prepared. Even in the most basic divorce, if there is such a thing, numerous documents and deadlines come into play. Dockets must be set, hearings must be attended, and paperwork must be filed on time. Some people try to swim the stream of the court system without the aid and assistance of a knowledgeable attorney. Equipped with only a set of papers generated by a computer, these individuals may very well find themselves stranded in the system with no idea how to proceed.

Marivonne Essex has experience in the Texas legal system with almost every kind of divorce situation that can arise. As a licensed attorney since 1985, she has chosen to focus on family law. Known as “The Red Headed Lawyer,” she is considered by many to be the best divorce lawyer in Houston.

Because children are such an important part of the marriage relationship, their needs and care for the future should be paramount in divorce situations. Marivonne can help see that children receive proper provisions for the future so that they are able to carry on a productive and enjoyable childhood even though their parents are not together any longer. While the process of divorce can be one of the most emotionally turbulent experiences that a family can go through, with the help of experienced legal counsel like Marivonne’s, the impact can be lessened tremendously.

Houston Child Support Lawyer

Written by redheadedlaw on August 28, 2012. Posted in Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, Houston. No Comments on Houston Child Support Lawyer

Divorce is not an easy experience, but many people find themselves walking through this situation, nonetheless. In most cases, when two individuals get married, they do so with the best intentions of staying together. Life does have uncertainties, though, and sometimes a marriage unfortunately ends in divorce. More complications are definitely brought into the mix when children have been born to the couple.

Custody issues come into play, as well as visitation and child support arrangements. One of the parents may be named as the custodial parent. In Texas, this scenario is also referred to as a conservatorship. There are occasions when the court may determine that both parents will share joint custody of the children.

The needs of the children are a critical issue in the eyes of the legal system. It is deemed to be highly important that children of divorced parents should not do without food, clothing, schooling needs and recreation. Child support payments are generally paid by the non-custodial parent to the parent who has been decreed as the custodial parent.

There are occasions when the amount that has been ordered by the court to be paid needs to be re-evaluated. For example, if a father has been paying a large amount of money each month to provide for his children’s needs, but now his pay rate or his work hours have been permanently cut, he will probably want to contact a qualified Houston child support lawyer to seek a modification of the monthly amount.

Additionally, there are situations where the parent who has been ordered by the court to pay child support simply chooses to ignore the order. In such cases, rather than allow the children to suffer the results of lack and neglect, it is sometimes necessary for the custodial parent to obtain the assistance of a skilled attorney to ensure that the proper payments are received at the proper time each month.

There are a number of factors that make up the formula for determining child support amounts. Items such as the number of children involved, the amount of income each parent makes, and how much time the children are spending with each of the parents are taken into consideration by the court. There is no hard and fast rule, though, so it is important to seek the advice of an experienced Houston child support lawyer when circumstances arise concerning support for children of divorced or divorcing parents.

Closure on Marriage, Foreclosure on House

Written by redheadedlaw on August 22, 2012. Posted in Attorney, Debt, Divorce, Real Estate. No Comments on Closure on Marriage, Foreclosure on House

Original Article by Ronald Lipman for Chron.com

Q: I agreed to let my ex-wife have our home when we divorced. However, she recently let it fall into foreclosure, and now my credit is ruined. I was going to buy a new home, but the lender has pulled my funding. Now I can’t find a company to finance the purchase. Plus, I can’t find relief with credit companies to clear my name.

A: It’s too late now, but there was a way for you to have avoided the foreclosure altogether. You could have required your ex-wife to sign a “Deed of Trust to Secure Assumption” when you got divorced. That way, you would have been able to make the payments when she defaulted, and the home then would have belonged to you.

Of course, you would have had to monitor her mortgage payments to make sure she was keeping current. Typically, notices of non-payment are sent to the home-owner’s address. As soon as you found out that she was behind, you could have stepped in, made the payments, and taken the home from her.

Note, though, that even when a Deed of Trust to Secure Assumption exists, the unpaid mortgage payments are sometimes so large that the home still gets lost to foreclosure. In addition to the cash needed to make the delinquent mortgage payments, you would need to make all future mortgage payments, and pay for the upkeep, utilities, property taxes and insurance on the home.

The bottom line is that when you and your ex-wife bought the home and agreed to make payments to the lender, you did so jointly. The lender doesn’t care that you two got divorced. Even though the home was awarded to her, the lender was still looking to both of you for payment. You were both still jointly liable for all the payments that needed to be made on the note even after you divorced.

Her default unfortunately has ruined your credit for years, but there is nothing you can do to change what has happened.

Q: My mother died in 2011. Her house makes up virtually all of her estate, the total value of which is less than $500,000. Are capital gains taxes due when we sell the house?

A: When your mother died, the cost basis of the home was changed to the home’s fair market value on her date of death.

If you sell the home for less than that new cost basis, you won’t owe any capital gains taxes. If you sell it for more than the cost basis, you’ll owe capital gains taxes, but only on the increase in value from your mother’s date of death until the date of sale.

Houston Female Divorce Attorney

Written by redheadedlaw on August 3, 2012. Posted in Attorney, Divorce, Lawyer. No Comments on Houston Female Divorce Attorney

Choosing a Divorce Lawyer – Should You Choose a Male or Female Lawyer?

by Marivonne Essex, The Red Headed Lawyer

In the 27-plus years I have been practicing family law, I have on many occasions had a potential client tell me, “I chose to come to you because you are a woman. I want a female lawyer.” Often it will be a male client making this statement. The perception seems to be that as a female lawyer, you will be able to make the soon-to-be ex-wife “come to her senses” about the divorce issues. Or, if the judge is a female, the judge will be more likely to respond and be favorable to a female lawyer. Women who choose a lawyer because she is female seem to do so because they feel that a woman will better understand their concerns. Are these perceptions valid and what should go into deciding which lawyer to hire for your divorce?

First, the perception that a female lawyer will be better able to convince the other spouse of anything because she is female, and the perception that a female judge will be more favorable to a female lawyer are both totally false. These simply do not happen in the real world. The perception that a female lawyer will better understand the concerns of a female client may or may not have a grain of truth to it. It is true that many people relate better to those people who they perceive to have more in common with them. But there are always exceptions to this. I once had a client who was female who needed to attend counseling. She could not afford to pay the normal fees for a professional counselor so she went to one of the United Way agencies. The only counselor available was a male of a different race from her. She was skeptical that the counselor could relate to her enough to help her. After months of counseling, she ended up believing that the man had helped her more than anyone else in her life had.

If gender is not the primary reason upon which to base your choice of a lawyer, what should you use? There are two very important considerations when choosing a lawyer, aside from fees, of course. First, do you feel comfortable with this person? Are you able to relate your concerns to the lawyer, tell him or her what it is most important to you in the divorce action, tell him or her in detail everything about your case, both the good and the bad? Do you feel that the lawyer is listening and understanding your concerns and positions? Second, would you walk through fire with the person? Do you trust the lawyer that much? Because going through a divorce is often a walk through fire and you better trust without question the person who is holding your hand and leading you through that fire.

Yes, gender can be part of your decision, IF you feel you can relate to the lawyer better because he or she is the same gender as you. It is by no means the only reason to choose a lawyer.

5 Secrets To A Happy Marriage From Divorce

5 Secrets to a Happy Marriage: Revealed by Divorce

Written by redheadedlaw on July 30, 2012. Posted in Divorce, Marriage.

Original Article by Sarah B. Weir, Yahoo! blogger for Love + Sex

In 25 years of studying marriage, Dr. Terri Orbuch, research professor at the University of Michigan and author of the new book “Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship,” has found that some of the best relationship advice comes from people who are actually divorced.

In 1986, Orbuch embarked on a long-term study, supported by the National Institutes of Health (NIH), which followed the relationships of 373 newlyweds. By 2012, 46% had divorced, about the same as the national average. In interviews with Orbuch, people who had divorced or ended a serious relationship over and over again brought up the same five issues that they would improve if they had the chance to do it all again.

Money. Over the course of her research, one the biggest surprises for Orbuch was the role money played in marital strife. “Many divorced singles say that money was the number one source of conflict in the early years of marriage,” she tells Yahoo! Shine. She also found that, “6 out of 10 said they would not share living expenses in their next relationship.” She recommends that each partner evaluate their own approach to spending and saving money and discuss with their spouse early on. She says there is no one-size-fits-all-financial plan, but couples need to determine their own rules and adhere to them.
Affection. Another surprise was that men crave affection-but not necessarily sex-more than women. “It’s counterintuitive,” says Orbuch, “but men crave feeling special and being noticed by their wives.” She adds that men who report not getting enough nonsexual affection were twice as likely to ask for a divorce, but the reverse was not true for women. “Women are fortunate. We get this kind of affirmation from more people in our lives, our mothers, children, our best friends”-so women tend to need less from husbands. She recommends carving out time for regular cuddling, kissing, hand holding, and saying “I love you.”
Blame. “When divorced couples found fault with their relationship using ‘we’ statements, they were significantly more likely to find love than those who used ‘I’ or ‘you’ statements.” Those who found blame in factors such as being incompatible or too young experienced less anxiety, insomnia, and depression than those who blamed their former partner or themselves for a break-up. Examine what went wrong in the relationship instead of assigning individual blame, suggests Orbuch, and think about how you can resolve conflict better next time.
Communication. Orbuch says a trap many couples fall into is “maintenance” rather than true communication. She suggests having a “10 minute rule” every day when you, “Talk to your partner about something other than work, the relationship, the house, or the children.” The key is revealing something about yourself and learning something about your spouse. “Forty-one percent of divorced people say they would change their communication style,” says Orbuch,”and, 91% of happily married couples say they know their partner intimately.”
Move on. Letting go of the past is a key to being in a happy relationship. This is true for people who are currently married as well as those seeking love. If you are irked by thoughts of your partner’s old boyfriend or girlfriend or of a fight that happened weeks ago, you might not be interacting in a healthy, positive way. “That animosity prevents you from being fully present,” says Orbuch. She also points out that people who felt neutral toward their ex were significantly more likely to find love after a divorce. If you can’t let go of your anger, her book outlines a number of exercises including writing a detailed letter to the person you are angry at-and burning it.

For more information on Dr. Orbuch or to ask her a question check out her website, The Love Doctor.

Child Rights in a Divorce

Written by redheadedlaw on July 7, 2012. Posted in Divorce. No Comments on Child Rights in a Divorce

A Bill of 33 Rights for Children of Divorce

Original Article by Pamela Cytrynbaum for Family Goes Strong

Children of divorce are being parented by (former) children of divorce at record levels these days. Those of us whose parents pioneered the art of tearing their marriage asunder taught us a lot about what works and what doesn’t. Now our children should be the beneficiaries of our wisdom, right? Those of us who came from “broken homes” know how hard it can be, and we know all the ways parents can make it easier, more humane, even positive. So, I think it’s time we set up some ground rules. In that spirit, I offer a Bill of Rights for our children.

You have the right to your feelings – all of them, whenever they come, whatever they are.
You have the right to be listened to, heard, understood and taken seriously.
You have the right to be stunned, shaken to your core, to be in disbelief.
You have the right to feel betrayed and to feel the foundation of everything you thought to be true is shaking beneath you.
You will probably see one parent thrive and another one suffer for a while. You have the right to find that appalling and confusing.
You may be called ‘selfish’ if you express your feelings. You have the right to be ‘selfish.’
You have the right to feel it’s unfair that one parent seems to move on quickly, easily finding a new love, a new life, without looking back. That hurts. You have every right to feel hurt and angry by that and to tell your fast-moving parent to slow down.
You have the right to ask questions and to have them answered honestly and appropriately by your parents.
You have the right to be treated with respect, to be told the truth, to be included in the process.
You have the right to expect fair and equal treatment for yourself and your siblings and any step-siblings that enter or are born into your “blended” family.
You have the right to sometimes feel like an outsider in your own family.
You have the right to expect your parents to behave honorably, to put your interests first, and to keep you informed.
You have the right to ask for help and to get it.
You have the right to give everyone the silent treatment.
You have the right to express your anger and pain and feelings of helplessness.
You have the right to be in control of some things – probably not the ones you want to control, though. And you have the right to be angry and sad about that.
You have the right not to be blamed for your feelings. Or for anything.
You have the right to know it was not your fault, even if you have been difficult and not on your best behavior. Parents don’t get divorced because their kids aren’t on their best behavior.
You have the right not to want to meet Dad’s new girlfriend even if he’s super ready for you to do so.
You have the right not to be ready to move to new, post-divorce phases even if your parents say ‘it’s time to move on.’
You have the right to feel really, really weirded out and incredibly sad seeing your mom or dad parenting somebody else’s kids!
You have the right to feel jealousy.
You have the right to wish your old life back, even if it was, if you’re really honest, stressful, negative and sad.
You have the right to confide in friends and to seek their support.
You have the right to keep your feelings to yourself.
You have the right to do your own informal survey of other divorced families to see what plans and arrangements work best for them.
You have the right to resources – books, websites, articles, support groups – about divorce that are appropriate to your age and emotional maturity.
You have the right to be emotionally immature.
You have the right to tell your parents your feelings about issues of custody, moving, dating, blending families, changing schools, vacation schedules and anything else you have feelings about.
You have the right to worry about your future without anybody telling you “it’s going to be fine….the adults are going to work it all out, just do your homework.”
You have the right to be dissatisfied with answers adults give you.
You have the right to actively participate in the discussions and choices being made about your future.
You have the right to be unconditionally loved by your parents, who really are trying to do their best and who love you very, very much.