Author: redheadedlaw

Make the deal!

Written by redheadedlaw on April 21, 2016. Posted in Divorce, Property Division.

People just can’t help it. Even the most congenial divorces usually involve some level of hurt feelings and rejection. And then things can quickly deteriorate into a legal tangle worthy of a Grisham novel.

True congenial divorces are pretty rare. And even if the two parties get through the initial emotional trauma, logistical issues, and child custody arrangements without a blow up, things often break down during the division of property. This is when total reality sets in, and even worse, by this time one or both parties probably has friends, relatives or neighbors giving them advice. This “advice” usually results in a more intransigent position as far as negotiations are concerned. Why? Because they are feeding into whatever feelings they see in their relative or friend. If he/she wants to punish the other person, then punishment they will get! If he/she wants to make them pay, then by God, they will pay!

This kind of thinking is like a double expresso – it will make you feel energized and alive for a while, but then it will fade and leave you worse off than before.

Keep in mind that in any legal conflict, the longer something takes, the more expensive it usually becomes. People can (and do!) fight for years over teapots and lawn chairs, or someone can ask themselves, how can this impasse be broken?

Often, it’s not that hard to resolve quickly.

Ask yourself two questions:

What do I really want most?
What does my counterpart want most?

If the two things are different, you are on your way to settlement.

Here’s an example – two people are married many years but the relationship slowly ends. One files, and before you know it, counter suits are flying back and forth along with discovery demands, the possible hiring of expert witnesses, etc. But the silver lining is one person would love to stay in the house, and the other wants to keep his/her retirement account.

Bingo! Your negotiation will be started by offering to trade half the home equity for half the account equity. Get an appraisal on the property, compare the two numbers mentioned, and then quibble about chairs and teapots. The quibbling won’t last because each party already believes they’ve won. They won’t care much about the small stuff.

It doesn’t have to involve assets of approximately equal value either. It’s the perceived value that matters. One person might want the house, but the other wants granny’s silver settings. Again, we have the beginning of a resolution to the negotiation – the rest is just splitting the household inventory.

In any negotiation, it is important to achieve small victories, but in a divorce, the other party must also feel successful (barring any unlawful or immoral behavior.)

If you are involved in a contentious divorce (or any similar situation), take a few breaths and ask yourself the two questions referenced earlier. This technique can often be the key to a swift resolution that respects the feelings of all parties (including children) while easing the financial and time burden.

We can assist you in asking and answering these questions. Please feel free to call anytime.

Money And Marriage Can Be Happy Ever After

Money and Marriage Can Be Happily Ever After

Written by redheadedlaw on March 23, 2016. Posted in Marriage, Money.

Money and marriage. Like oil and vinegar, they don’t mix well unless you take the time to shake things up a little.

One of the earliest acknowledgements that personal finance was fraught with danger was by the Apostle Paul. He told his young disciple Timothy that “the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil.” And Paul was single, so maybe he was sugarcoating it a little. Dr. Phil (who is married) is more succinct, firing a warning shot over the whole institution of matrimony with “Money can ruin your marriage.”

Strong words that happened to be spoken 2,000 years apart. What are newlyweds to do? How can such dire warnings be addressed?

Communication and Expectations.

When you think about the sequence of events that occurs when two people fall in love, discussing a family budget does not even rank. This is not because the parties don’t consider family finance important, it’s because they consider it very important and personal. As everyone knows, “it’s personal” is a commonly used excuse for keeping a secret, but when committing to a new life with a partner, there can’t be secrets. How do two people confront this topic early, in an honest and non-confrontational way so feelings are not hurt and mutual cooperation is preserved?

The recommendation is pretty unanimous among marriage counselors, bloggers, and reporters, including Chris Arnold of NPR – make a budget.

In his March 8 story “How to Keep Money from Messing Up Your Marriage,” Arnold writes that there are deep-seated feelings to be addressed when two people combine financial forces. Maybe one person is handling more of the home responsibilities and working less. Maybe there are children involved and one career is being sacrificed more than the other. Or perhaps the split of household expenses has become unequal over time.

If something is bothering one party and the other doesn’t know, this is a recipe for problems. So hold a family summit and get all the financial issues on the table. Figure out how much your household expenses and other mandatory outlays are (a good exercise for everyone) and how they should be paid. List the non-mandatory but very important expenses (like contributions to retirement or savings accounts) and decide how to find these. Then, tackle what might be the most important category – personal expenses. Agree on how much of the monthly pot each of you gets to call your own.

It doesn’t sound that critical, but consider this, as pointed out in the NPR story. What happens when one party needs to approach the other for spending money? Is that a healthy way to maintain a life partnership, or have things suddenly gone parental?

There can’t be unequal partners in any sort of marriage, so decide on some basic rules. Each party gets a certain amount of money twice per month that is theirs and does not have to be reconciled. Either party can make purchases up to a certain amount without checking with the other. Then, agree on how credit card balances will be jointly handled.

Communicate with full disclosure, and then agree on rules so expectations are set. Commit to a periodic review of the rules to be sure to account for changes in circumstances.

Get this right, and Dr. Phil won’t be.

Be My Ex-Valentine

Written by redheadedlaw on February 12, 2016. Posted in Divorce, Valentine's Day.

It’s Valentine’s Day this Sunday. Have you finished your shopping and dinner plans yet? Maybe you scheduled some spa services as a gift? Did you get a sitter for the kids? Who’s going to let the dog out? It’s not surprising that family strife seems to escalate around holidays. There’s pressure to entertain, pressure to cook and clean up for company, and of course, pressure to smile the whole time like you’re having a blast. However, when it comes to holiday-induced stress, Valentine’s Day is probably the worst.

Why?

Let’s face it. At the end of any other holiday, you get to show everyone the door. Valentine’s Day is a celebration for two, and most of the time, you already live together. You can’t go to your corner after the fight and nurse your wounds. You both live in the corner!

So for Valentine’s Day, stress is already off the charts due to the high expectations of “getting it right.” If you and your partner aren’t getting along, that just adds another layer of misery to the occasion. And unfortunately, you can’t escape the hype. Why? Because it’s everywhere! Walk away into Wal-Mart and there is row upon row of heart-shaped merchandise. Local supermarkets set up special stand-alone Valentine boutiques where all of us are expected to select fabulous gifts for our partner or prospective partner. Some of them are drive-through! Even Papa Johns has heart-shaped pizzas! Expectations are super high, as is fear of failure.

Psychologists will advise couples in turmoil to examine their situation in logical steps. Define the problem first. Often the problem will look different to each partner, and by stating it out loud (either together or in front of a mediator or other unbiased third party), they may be able to boil it down to a single statement or two that makes sense to both. Of course, this may not be possible, but you have to try. Second, it is important to determine what the underlying factors might be. Sometimes, the loss of a job can cause mental as well as physical issues. Aging results in changes to the bond and mind. Couples sometimes report a feeling of lethargy and uselessness once the kids leave the nest for school. Retirement by one or both parties often causes the same reaction. Once the problem or problems are identified and you both agree why, it is often possible to find a way forward.

But it may be that the problem issues are too ingrained, or you both have become too locked into your positions. And this realization, whether you realize it or not, can turn a normal holiday into an excruciating curse. How do you fake romance and empathy when you don’t feel it? Unless you have a handful of Oscars on your mantle, it can’t be done. And this is why holidays like Valentine’s Day can become the proverbial straw the breaks the camel’s back. At some point, the fear of breaking up gives way to the fear of staying together.

If you and your significant other are having problems, by all means seek counseling. Divorces are rarely a joy-filled experience. But if you have realistically exhausted all avenues of reconciliation, give us a call at The Essex Law Firm. We know relationships are very difficult and we don’t judge. But if we begin the process while relations are still relatively civil, the process can be faster, less expensive, and far less painful.

Social Security – Questions and Answers Regarding Divorced Spouse Benefits

Written by redheadedlaw on December 8, 2015. Posted in Divorce, Social Security.

Original article provided courtesy of Bill Stewart of Stewart & Hurst:

Stewart & Hurst
7887 San Felipe
Suite 122
Houston, Texas 77063
Phone: 713.974.2928

Question 1:
How do I know if I qualify to receive benefits on my former spouse’s Social Security record?

Answer:
You may receive benefits on your former spouse’s Social Security record (even if he/she has remarried) if you:

were married to your former spouse for 10 years or longer;
are age 62 or older;
are unmarried;
the benefit that you are entitled to receive based on your own work is less than the benefit your former spouse would receive based on his/her work; and
your former spouse is entitled to Social Security retirement or disability benefits.

Question 2:
How do I know if my former spouse qualifies to receive benefits on my Social Security record?

Answer:
Your former spouse can receive benefits based on your record (even if you have remarried) if:

you were married to your former spouse for 10 years or longer;
your former spouse is age 62 or older;
your former spouse is unmarried;
the benefit that your former spouse is entitled to receive based on his/her own work is less than the benefit he/she would receive based on your work; and
you are entitled to Social Security retirement or disability benefits.

Question 3:
Am I entitled to receive benefits on my former spouse’s Social Security record even he/she has not filed to receive his/her benefits?

Answer:
Yes. If your former spouse is eligible for Social Security Benefits but has not filed to receive benefits you may still receive your benefits on your former spouse’s record if you meet the eligibility requirements from Answer 1 and have been divorced from your former spouse for at least two years.

Question 4:
What share or my former spouse’s retirement benefits may I receive?

Answer:
If you are 62 years old and the former spouse is eligible for benefits, although not necessarily receiving them, the maximum benefit you would receive is 50% of the benefit your former spouse would receive at full retirement age. Benefits paid to you before full retirement age of your former spouse are reduced based upon the age of your former spouse at the time benefits are paid to you.

Question 5:
If my former spouse remarries after being married to me for 10 years, which spouse receives benefits?

Answer:
Benefits paid to a surviving divorced spouse will not affect the benefit rates for other beneficiaries.

Question 6:
If I remarry can I still collect benefits from my former spouse?

Answer:
No, unless your later marriage ends by death, divorce or annulment.

Question 7:
If I remarry can my former spouse still collect benefits from me?

Answer:
Yes, if the former spouse meets the criteria from Answer 1.

Question 8:
If my former spouse remarries can he or she collect benefits on my record?

Answer:
Generally the answer is no. If your former spouse’s later marriage ends, whether by death, divorce or annulment, he/she may be able to collect benefits on your record.

Question 9:
What if I am eligible for retirement benefits on my own?

Answer:
The Social Security Administration will pay the benefit to you first. If:

The benefit of your former spouse’s record is higher than yours, you will get a combination of benefits that equals the higher benefit amount (reduced for age);
you have reached the full retirement age[i] and you are eligible for a spouse’s benefit and your own retirement benefit, you have a choice.

Question 10:
What if my former spouse is eligible for retirement benefits on his/her own?

Answer:
The Social Security Administration will pay the benefit to your former spouse first. If:

The benefit on your record is higher than your former spouse’s, he/she will get a combination of benefits that equals the higher benefit amount (reduced for age);
your former spouse has reached the full retirement age and is eligible for a spouse’s benefit and his/her own retirement benefit, he/she has a choice.

Question 11:
Can I delay my own retirement benefits and opt to only receive the benefits on the record of my former spouse?

Answer:
Yes, if you delay your own benefits a higher benefit may be received at a later date based on the effect of the delayed retirement credits.[ii]

Question 12:
Can my former spouse delay his/her own retirement benefits and opt to only receive the benefits on my record?

Answer:
Yes, if your former spouse delays his/her own benefits a higher benefit may be received at a later date based on the effect of the delayed retirement credits.

Question 13:
Does the amount of benefits I receive effect the amount of benefits my former spouse receives?

Answer:
No, the amount of benefits you receive effects neither the benefits your former spouse may receive nor the benefits your former spouse’s current spouse may receive.

Question 14:
Am I eligible for benefits if my former spouse is deceased?

Answer:
There are a few exceptions for surviving divorced spouses:

If you remarry after age 60, and your former spouse is deceased, you may still be eligible for a benefit under your former spouse’s record;
If your former spouse is deceased, you may apply for benefits based on your former spouse’s record at age 60;
You would not have to meet the 10 year length-of-marriage rule if you are caring for a child under age 16 or disabled who is getting benefits on the record of your former spouse. The child must be your former spouse’s natural or legally adopted child.

Question 15:
When am I entitled to Divorced Spouse’s Insurance Benefits?

Answer:
You are entitled to a divorced spouse’s insurance benefits on the worker’s Social Security record if:

the worker is entitled to retirement or disability insurance benefits;
you have filed an application for divorced spouse’s benefits;
you are not entitled to retirement or disability insurance benefits based on a primary insurance amount which equals or exceeds one-half the worker’s primary insurance amount;
you are age 62 or over;
you are not married; and
you were married to the worker for at least 10 years before the date the divorce became final.

[i] If the divorced spouse was born in 1937 or earlier, full retirement age is 65. If the divorced spouse was born in 1960 or later, full retirement age is 67. If the divorced spouse was born between 1938 and 1959, the full retirement age will be somewhere between 65 and 67.

[ii] Social Security benefits are increased by a certain percentage (depending on date of birth) if the divorced spouse delays his/her retirement beyond full retirement age. The benefit increase no longer applies when the divorced spouse reaches age 70, even if the divorced spouse continues to delay taking benefits.

What To Do If You Are A Victim of Spousal Abuse

Written by redheadedlaw on October 26, 2015. Posted in Child Abuse, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Violence, Health, Mental Health.

If you are in a relationship with an abusive partner, you might feel trapped, helpless or have no idea where to turn. Knowing what steps to take to move forward in your life is extremely important for your wellbeing.

Report the Abuse

First and foremost, call 911 or your local police department to report the domestic abuse and file charges against your abuser. It’s important to keep a record of the abuse, so write down the report number from the police report, to save with your documentation.

According to the National Coalition against Domestic Violence, “On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States.” (Source: http://www.ncadv.org/)

Understanding that you are not alone in your situation and you’ve done nothing to cause the abuse will help you move forward in bettering your situation.

Seek Medical Help

Only 34% of people who are injured by intimate partners receive medical care for their injuries. (Source: http://www.ncadv.org/).

Domestic violence leaves scars that can take several years to heal. While it’s important to seek medical attention for any immediate needs, it’s also necessary to seek professional help and counseling to aide you in the process of moving on.

Create a Safe Plan

Planning ahead is essential to keeping yourself and your family safe. Have a list of places you can go, perhaps a family member’s home or close friend’s house, when you are forced to leave your home. When creating your plan, consider where you will go, where your children will go, what to bring with you and how you will get there.

For an idea of what type of things to plan for, download this domestic violence personalized safety plan from NCDSV.org.

Think of Your Family

Domestic violence impacts your entire family and it’s important to find the support and provide guidance to your children involved in domestic violence.

According to www.safehorizon.com, “Children exposed to domestic violence at home are more likely to have health problems, including becoming sick more often, having frequent headaches or stomachaches, and being more tired and lethargic.”

Be sure to remember your children’s needs throughout the entire transition and make arrangements to keep them healthy, both mentally and physically.

File a Protective Order

By filing a protective order you can ensure your safety and your family’s safety. Under a protective order, the abuser is prohibited from assault, direct communication, visiting place of resident or place of work.

If you or someone you know is suffering from spousal abuse, do not hesitate to reach out for help. You can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline for free to speak with a trained advocate and get the support you need. If you are in the Houston area, there are shelters and resources available to you through the Family Violence Unit and the Houston Bar Association.

How to Make the Divorce Process as Easy as Possible

Written by redheadedlaw on September 22, 2015. Posted in Attorney, Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, Lawyer, Marriage.

Divorce isn’t easy. Typically, it’s a long, emotional and drawn out time in your life that you never imagined would be a part of your story.

While we all agree that getting a divorce isn’t easy – there are several ways that we can make the divorce process easier.

Communicate with your Ex

Sounds crazy, right? But having an open line of communication with your ex can allow you to have an easier divorce. Whether the communication is done via email, phone or through your lawyer, it will help in several ways:

Saves you money
Keeps the divorce moving forward
Maintains your integrity

While every situation is unique, I recommend that you set boundaries when it comes to communicating with your ex during the divorce; I would never want anyone in a situation that they don’t need to be in. With certain divorces, some couples shouldn’t communicate except through a lawyer. For example, DO NOT use this advice if you feel that your spouse is so controlling, you could possibly enter into an agreement that you don’t really want.

Plan ahead for child custody

If children are part of the divorce, try to plan ahead on what makes the most sense for your family while keeping your children’s best interests in your mind. Think about schedules and schooling in order to arrange the best custody agreement for them. Having a jointly agreed upon idea will help move the custody portion along while keeping things easy for you. Remember, children psychologically see themselves as one-half of each parent. Parents who work together to maintain this whole for their children will see healthier, happier children who will transition much more easily through the divorce process.

Let it go

Assets, relationships and your old life are things of the past. Being able to emotionally let all of these things go will save you time and energy throughout the divorce process. It’s difficult to split the house, cars, and debt that have accumulated over the years, but it is part of the entire process.

Prepare yourself to detach from people and things, prior to the divorce becoming final, so you can move on quicker.

Hire a divorce lawyer

Having someone that you can trust, that supports your best interests, gives you a peace about the entire process. Divorce lawyers know the ins and outs of what you’re going through and are there to help you.

A divorce lawyer understands the process and can handle the courts of law much better than if you were to represent yourself. More than any other time, this is the time that you need an advocate, somebody who knows the law and at the same time is looking out for your best interest. Some of the biggest legal disasters are do-it-yourself divorces which basically have to be redone later, costing more in both time, money and stress. Save the DIY for home projects.

Take time for yourself

One of the most important things to remember during your divorce is to take time for yourself. I tell my clients to do whatever it takes to relax. Plan a weekend getaway or a spa weekend, to keep your mind off of the divorce.

Making the divorce process easier will not only speed things up, but it will give you a peace during one of the most unsettling moments in your life.

Personality Disorders in Divorce

Written by redheadedlaw on August 10, 2015. Posted in Divorce, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Violence, Mental Health, personality disorder.

Recently I read an article entitled “Personality Disorders in Divorce” by Jim Dolan. That got your attention, didn’t it? I can hear a lot of you saying, “I know my ex has one of those! He (she) is crazy! Let me just tell you….” As a divorce attorney, I see people on both sides of divorces do lots of “crazy” things that they would not otherwise do. Here in Spring, a woman was just recently arrested for putting a hit contract out on her husband who she is in the process of divorcing. Their court files shows ongoing conflict, threats, assault and charges on both sides. So, as Mr. Dolan correctly points out, many lawyers and judges believe that both parties are equally at fault. But aren’t some people really “crazy” anyway and it just gets worse during a divorce? Well, it turns out that might be true.

Mr. Dolan identifies three personality disorders (he calls them the “Big Three”) which can make an otherwise typically “crazy” divorce become one in which one person is truly the victim.

Here they are: the Narcissist, the Borderline, and the Anti-social

The Narcissist, typically male, is your charming “bad boy” with big ideas and not much to back them up, may not work much, doesn’t care about anyone else’s feelings. He is the one who is going to punish you if you try to escape. Be careful with this one. He is out to exact revenge on you for even thinking of leaving.
Then there is the Borderline, usually female, drug or alcohol issues, parental abandonment, chaotic family background, often a crime victim. She thinks she can “buy” a good, solid relationship with intense sex. All hell breaks loose when she hooks up with a Narcissist. Think Fatal Attraction with Michael Douglas.
The Anti-social, our third PD, is more often a man who is witty and charming and may be in a position of power. He looks for a woman who wants to be taken care of. He needs to control the woman he is with. Violence and drug abuse are unfortunately behind the charm.

If you are currently going through a divorce and your spouse exhibits these symptoms, you should seek counseling early on to learn how to cope and to help your children cope. You are not going to change the person so, as they say, you can only change yourself. You may be in for a long, stressful, seemingly never-ending road of conflict. You need to understand that you are not at fault. You will need professional help. If you see yourself in one of the “Big Three” then you also need counseling. You need help so that you find peace with yourself, and so that you do not permanently damage your children. If you are not married, then you will want to carefully consider any relationships so that you do not fall into one of the “Big Three” traps.

I am not a psychologist, but I have seen these personality disorders and the pain they cause. Mr. Dolan has written a very interesting article and I will be happy to share the entire article with you if you email me. If in doubt, contact a professional therapist or counselor.

Marriage and Divorce in Texas

Written by redheadedlaw on July 29, 2015. Posted in Divorce, Marriage, Texas.

An overview of how marriage and divorce works in Texas, taken from the Houston Bar Assocation Family Law Handbook.

Marriage and Divorce

Does Texas have an age requirement for marriage?
Yes. Both parties must be at least 18 years old to obtain a marriage license. If either party is under 18 years of age, parental consent or a court order is required.
Can I marry someone who is related to me?
It depends. You may not marry (1) someone who is an ancestor (mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, etc.) or descendent (son, daughter, grandson, granddaughter, etc.); (2) your brother or sister; (3) your parent’s brother or sister (aunt or uncle); (4) your niece or nephew; (5) your cousin; or (6) your step-children or your step-parents.
Can I legally marry someone of the same sex?
In Texas, you may not marry someone of the same sex.
What is a “licensed marriage?”
A “licensed” or “ceremonial marriage” requires a marriage license and is performed by an authorized official (minister, priest, rabbi, judge, etc.).
What is an informal marriage or “common-law marriage?”
An informal marriage (sometimes called a common-law marriage) can be created when a man and woman sign and register an official document of marriage at the county clerk’s office. A man and woman may also
enter into an informal marriage if they agree to be married, live together in Texas as husband and wife, and represent to others in Texas that they are married. There is no minimum time period necessary to create an informal marriage, and living together, by itself, is not enough to create one. An informal marriage may not be entered into if either party is less than 18 years old.
Is there a “common-law divorce?”
No. If the parties to a non-registered informal marriage separate and live apart for two (2) years or more, the parties may or may not need a divorce depending on the circumstances. Parties to a registered informal marriage must be divorced the same as parties who were married in a ceremony with a marriage license.
Is an annulment different from a divorce?
Yes. An “annulment” is a proceeding to have a marriage declared void as if it never took place. A “divorce” is the proceeding to end a valid marriage. However, in both an annulment and a divorce, the court will divide property and issue orders regarding any children.
What are the grounds for an annulment?
An annulment will be granted if (1) the parties are related, by blood or adoption, or (2) either party was previously married and the prior marriage has not been dissolved. An annulment may be granted if at the time of the marriage one party to the marriage was (1) underage, (2) under the influence of alcohol or drugs, (3) impotent, (4) mentally incompetent, (5) forced to marry by fraud or duress, or (6) was misled about a prior divorce. In most cases, the law requires that the person seeking an annulment must stop living with the other party once the problem is discovered.
Must fault be found against a party for a divorce to be granted?
No. In Texas, a divorce may be granted without either party being at fault. However, a divorce may also be granted when one party is found to be at fault in the break-up of the marriage.
How long must I live in Texas to get a divorce here?
Before filing, one of the spouses must live in Texas for at least six (6) months and in the county where the divorce is filed for at least ninety (90) days.
Is this different if I am in the military?
Not really. Time spent by a Texas resident outside of Texas, while in the military, satisfies the residency requirement in Texas for a divorce.
Am I entitled to a court-appointed attorney?
Not unless there are special circumstances.
What do I do if I can’t afford an attorney?
There are several programs in Harris County that offer help to persons who cannot afford to hire an attorney; however, you will be required to meet certain financial guidelines. See the resource guide at the back of this handbook for more information. The Houston Volunteer Lawyer program provides limited document review in the basement of the Family Law building at 1115 Congress, Houston Texas 77002. Also, an extensive set of forms approved by the Family Law Section of the State Bar of Texas are available to help litigants at the Harris County Law Library located next door to the Family Law Building at 1019 Congress, 17th Floor, Houston, Texas 77002.
What is a board-certified family attorney?
Attorneys who meet certain qualifications and pass a special examination may become board certified in family law by the State Bar of Texas, evidencing their level of knowledge and experience in this area of the law.
Do the rates charged by attorneys differ?
Yes, attorneys set their hourly rates based upon their knowledge, experience, qualifications, and the complexity of the case.
How do I begin my divorce suit?
A petition for divorce must be filed in the district clerk’s office and the required fees paid.
What if there are children of the marriage?
If there are children born, adopted, or expected during the marriage, the suit for divorce must also address matters of custody, visitation, and child support. If a wife has given birth to a child or is expecting a child since the time she married, but the child is not, or may not be the biological child of her husband, that information must be given to the court as soon as possible. If the wife is pregnant or becomes pregnant while the divorce action is pending, the parties must wait until the baby is born before the court can grant a divorce. This is true regardless of whether the husband is the baby’s father.
Who is the “Petitioner” and who is the “Respondent?”
The party who files for divorce first is called the “Petitioner” and the other party is called the “Respondent.”
Does my spouse get notified after I file my petition?
Yes, if you make certain the proper steps are followed to notify your spouse.
How is my spouse notified?
It is up to the party filing the suit to make sure the proper steps are followed to notify your spouse of the divorce case. Failure to notify him or her can result in a delay of your case or in some cases, dismissal of the case. Several methods to notify your spouse are available depending on the circumstances:
1. By receiving a copy of the petition from a sheriff, constable, or court approved private process server after you have made the request and paid the required fees; or
2. By certified mailing from the district clerk’s office; or
3. If the parties agree, the non-filing spouse may, after the petition has been filed, sign and notarize a document called a “Waiver of Citation,” which indicates that the non-filing spouse is accepting service of the lawsuit; or
4. If your spouse cannot be located, notice can be published in a court-approved newspaper or other court-approved publication.
What happens after my spouse is notified of the filing?
Once a respondent is officially notified, there is a deadline to file a response to the petition. If the deadline is not met, the petitioner may be able to go forward and obtain a divorce by “default.”
What is a temporary restraining order?
A temporary restraining order is a court order that sets forth the acts which either one or both parties are prohibited from doing immediately after the petition is filed. Sometimes this order is called a “TRO.” A TRO usually prohibits bad acts such as committing family violence, harassment, hiding money from the other spouse, attempting to hide a child of the parties, etc.
Can I get a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) without notice to my spouse?
Yes, if the court approves the request for a TRO; however, it is effective only for a limited amount of time before you must go before the judge at a court hearing and ask that the TRO be put into effect until the divorce is granted.
What happens if the TRO is violated?
A person who violates a TRO, or any other court order, can be held in contempt of court and punished by a fine and/or a jail sentence.
Can my spouse ask for a divorce also?
Yes. The Respondent may file his or her own request for divorce in a document usually called a counter-petition for divorce.
What happens if I reconcile with my spouse?
You may dismiss your divorce proceedings by filing a request for nonsuit.
How soon can the court grant a divorce?
A petition for divorce must be on file with the court for at least sixty (60) days before the court can grant a divorce. The sixty (60) day waiting period may be waived in certain cases involving convictions for family violence and protective orders.
How long does it take to get a divorce?
If the parties are in agreement, a divorce proceeding can be finalized soon after the sixty (60) day waiting period is over. If the parties are not in agreement, the time it takes will depend on the court’s schedule and the complexity of the case. From start to finish, the divorce process may go through a number of phases which might include temporary orders, exchange of financial information, psychological evaluations (in custody cases), alternative dispute resolution, trial, and appeal. A divorce in which the parties are not in agreement on some or all issues will usually take several months and up to one year if a trial is necessary.
How do I know when my case is set for trial?
The court will issue a scheduling order that will inform you of all the deadlines you are expected to follow. Each party must make sure that the court and other parties are notified in writing at their current address, so that each will receive the scheduling order and other notices.
When am I divorced?
You are divorced when all the property and child related issues are resolved and the presiding judge signs an order, usually called a Decree of Divorce.
How long must I wait to get married again?
In most cases, you must wait thirty (30) days, but the court can grant a waiver to permit you to marry sooner.

Attorney Consultation with Skype

Written by redheadedlaw on June 23, 2015. Posted in Consultation, Skype.

Always looking for new ways to increase efficiency and better communicate with clients, the Essex Law Firm now offers video conferencing via Skype. Through Skype, which is free and easily downloaded to your computer and/or phone, you can have a face-to-face meeting from almost anywhere there is internet connectivity. Video conferencing offers many client benefits.

Saves time and money—save driving time and costs and still have a one-on-one session with your attorney.
Scheduling flexibility—just can’t add another thing to your schedule? Plan your Skype session before or after work or even on your lunch hour.
Convenience—do you lack transportation or have a disability? Video conferencing permits you to stay in touch and move forward despite any transportation issues.
Location—if you or your spouse are out of state (or even the country), a real live video conference with a Texas certified lawyer is still possible.
Travel—whether traveling for business or pleasure, you can still manage face time with your attorney.
Relationships—video conferencing promotes a more personal connection than a phone call. Each party can see and read facial expressions, which helps build and strengthen trust. This can be especially helpful when making contact for the first time.
Comfort—you can communicate with your attorney from the comfort and convenience of your own home or office where your personal information and files are at your fingertips.
Increased efficiency and productivity—a planned video conference can be far more productive than an ad hoc phone call and it ensures that each party has the other’s undivided attention. In the long run, this may help to decrease overall costs.

Lastly, video conferencing offers the closest thing possible to direct interaction. By using Skype, the Essex Law Firm offers a new way for clients to stay in touch and stay informed on a very personal level.

If you would like to setup a consultation via Skype, please call our main office at 281-350-4104, or send us a message, and we will accommodate you.

* Please note the consultation fee is $295.

Marital Agreements in Texas

Written by redheadedlaw on June 8, 2015. Posted in Marriage, Postnuptial, Prenuptial.

Most of us have heard of marital agreements but often associate things like “prenups” and “postnups” with celebrities or the very wealthy. We see marriage as a celebration of love and commitment. But in reality, marriage is a legal contract involving financial rights and obligations. Marital agreements can help avoid disputes over the division of assets in the event of death or divorce, as well as during the marriage.

There are two types of marital agreements, a prenuptial, which is accomplished before marriage, and a postnuptial, which is accomplished after marriage. What both agreements have in common is that they permit couples to designate separate property, that is property/assets, that will not be subject to the community property laws of Texas. What else they have in common is that both have significant legal impact and must be accomplished with independent counsel for both parties.

The Prenuptial Agreement

This agreement permits the establishment of separate property as well as financial rights and obligations to help protect both parties in the case of death or divorce. Assets owned prior to marriage are considered separate property, but after marriage, separate property issues may become blurred and hard to prove.

A prenup is a wise choice for anyone bringing significant personal or business assets to their marriage. Although most often associated with property division and spousal support issues, there are many other situations where a prenup can be beneficial.

Either party has significant existing debt—you may wish to establish repayment obligations and responsibilities.
You have inherited property—you may wish to ensure that these assets remain in your family.
You own or have invested in a business—you may wish to protect your premarital investment as well as that of any partners.
There are minor children from previous marriages/unions—This can establish provisions regarding any planned inheritance for these children.
Other—the prenuptial agreement is completely customizable. However, it is best to avoid private/minor domestic matters, or the court may find the agreement frivolous and refuse to recognize it.

The standard prenup attempts to eliminate community property entirely. Each spouse can keep separate all that he/she acquires during the marriage, which can include real estate, autos, retirement accounts, etc. They can still set up provisions to purchase property together or open a joint bank account, if they so choose, as the separate property of each. The standard prenup also specifically provides for the spouses to be able to make gifts to each other, including gifts of cash, at any time.

Note: There are two things marital agreements cannot address:

Future child support
Child custody and visitation rights

The Postnuptial Agreement

This agreement is essentially the same as, and can have all the same properties as, a prenup. The only difference is that it is accomplished after the marriage occurs. Some of the reasons for considering an agreement after marriage include:

Prior to marriage, discussing asset division was too difficult. When the marriage is more mature and both parties are more secure, making financial decisions may be easier.
There has been a change in circumstances. Perhaps one party is earning significantly more than the other or one has agreed to forgo a career to stay home with the children. As a couple, you may wish to provide for additional spousal support for the dependent spouse.
Business investments—one spouse may wish to protect the other, as well as the family home, from any possible business losses.

In the end, marital agreements essentially permit couples, and not the state, to govern what will be separate and community property. If you are considering such an agreement, talk to a family law attorney who can advise you on how to proceed, guide you through the process, provide all the necessary forms and help ensure that your wishes will be recognized by the court.